Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion -On Going Back
By Paul Big Bear
Have you ever been asked or asked yourself, If could go back in time would I do things differently? What would you change? ; I would do better in school, I would have been a better athlete, I would have never started smoking – drinking – drugs? I would have taken a better job and stayed with it, I would have stayed in the military, I would have a better boyfriend to the girl I felt so in love with. I cannot imagine what I would change, maybe if I had taken a path that led me into a life of crime but as the saying goes “There but for the Grace of God go I.”
I see a few problems with “going back”, it implies that I would go back with the knowledge I possess today, the life experiences I have, the knowledge of the friends and family I enjoy today. If I go back and do better in school what path would I follow from high school? What life style would I have and how would it differ from now? Would that old girlfriend and I have a happy marriage, life together, and what about children they certainly would not be the ones I now love. Would I be able to adjust and be happy with this retry life or would I find that the grass is only greener on the other side of the fence when you are willing to tend it. Would I find that I am not happy and start thinking about what I had and let go?
Memories are nice, they are the history of us, who we are and how we got there. People who helped make us who we are, experiences that formed our character, our morals, and our personalities. Yes it is fun to look back and fantasize but looking back at your life is like driving, the rear view mirror is to remind us that we are not alone on this journey and often things from behind us, from our past can suddenly rear end us. Check your mirror occasionally for safety but keep your focus on now and where now is taking you. How do you stay the course, where do you get your directions from a map, GPS, stop and ask directions? Experience is always helpful, have I been here before, do I possess knowledge that will help me. All of these things are important and helpful and I am thankful everyday for them but in the end I am fallible, I have been lost, gone out of my way despite my best efforts.
Would I go back and change my life? No, despite the times I found myself lost, the times I have stumbled and fallen, these are the learning opportunities, knowledge, I thank God for all the times He has picked me up when I have fallen, held me up when I was weak, gave me strength and courage to go on when I was faced with adversity. This is my life and I will continue on the course I am on, you see I put my life in the hands of God, in the hands of my Savior and have faith that I am right where I need to be. So, maps are nice but hard to fold, GPS’s are nice but not always correct and often annoying, stop and ask for directions is nice, I enjoy meeting people, but they may be lost too. So I will put my life, my Faith in the hands of God Guidance Only (He) Delivers.
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