Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion- On Older Folks
by Paul Big Bear
Dear Friends,
I have written many columns that mention my experiences with “old folks”. The “old fella” that walked alone up and down our street without speaking to anyone, from him I came to understand the saying “you can’t judge a book by its cover” nor can you know what someone is going through until you know them. Then there was the “old lady” on the hill that was planting flowers in her garden, I learned that she was not a witch but a very nice woman who bought the Pansies that I was selling as a cub scout and introduced me to my, to this day, favorite candies. Another old lady was the one who would yell at us as we played stickball in the street and accidently hit our ball into her yard. “Get out of my yard and the ball is mine now!” One day when our ball went in her yard, instead of hopping her fence to retrieve it I went up to knock on her door as she was coming out to yell. Instead she looked at me and sternly asked “What do you want?” I told her my ball went in her yard and asked if she would let me get it?” She smiled and walked me over to the ball, bent over picked it up and handed it to me, “Here and thank you for not jumping my fence and walking in my flowers.” Courtesy and respect for someone else’s property. Yes there have been many “old folks” that I have learned many things from, looking back I realize something, I am now older than these “teachers of life’s lessons.”
“When the elderly die, a library is lost and volumes of wisdom and knowledge are gone.”
I have also found that history books are full opinions and after the fact interpretations. True history comes from those who were there, those who lived it. Sadly true knowledge, history, and wisdom are tucked away out of sight every day. “Now that Mom has died, Pops alone in that big house, he can’t stay there alone.” Soon “Pop” is told all that he is not capable of, like living in the home that he and his wife lived together in for 40+ years. Told all the things he suddenly is not capable of doing for himself. Soon he is doing less, sitting alone watching TV or listening to music, his music that he has enjoyed all of his life, music that he and Mom enjoyed, black and white TV shows that he watched as a child, memories of his life. Soon he is told he needs to move into a senior living facility where he can be better cared for which means he must downsize, leave behind his familiar surroundings and comfort to live out his days in what amounts to a fancy rented hotel room. Eating in a cafeteria with new faces, being told what he’ll eat, when he’ll eat, what time scheduled events will take place. Family visits begin to be less and less as grandchildren take up their parent’s time, the phone rings less and less. Soon walking becomes slower, reading is a chore as eyesight fades, conversation no longer has depth, no lessons to be taught , only wisdom wasted. Perhaps “Old timer’s disease” is simply neglect.